(no subject)

I'm done with winter. I'm done with country living. I'm done with my optimism getting me nowhere. Every time I get excited about doing something or going somewhere or having something, no matter how simple or how uncluttered, it falls to pieces. It snows, or I get sick, or the money vanishes and Tim doesn't want to worry me, so he won't tell me what it was needed for. I'm tired of waking up to apologetic phone calls and hearing sympathy in voices. It's the most exhausting thing in the world to try and be patient, to sit back and say, "another time". There have been enough "other times". Patience has done nothing but drive wedges between me and my friends.

I'm also finished with not being able to do anything about it. But there's nothing to be done about that, either.