(no subject)

I just received news that a very dear friend tried to hurt himself and ran away. We can't find him and have no idea where he's gone. Nobody told me he was depressed or that he tried to hurt himself. I don't know if they didn't want me to worry or what, but I'm terrified he's dead in a ditch somewhere. I feel like someone hit me. I want to pray for him or go looking for him, but I don't know how to go about it. I don't want this to be a wild flail in the dark.

I keep hoping he'll show up on the back porch, looking for help, but I know in my heart of hearts, it's not going to happen. I can't lose him. He's like a brother to me.