Ficlet: Shock Jocks
Sep. 2nd, 2010 09:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
twistdfateangelTitle: Shock Jocks
Fandom: Kingdom RPG (Genderswap Bandom AU)
Rating: PG
Synopsis: The quietest member of Love Assault has a run-in with his deepest fear
-----------
"Oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit," Raj muttered, ripping the cork from the homemade Irish Creme as he power-walked, "How's Marcus taking it?"
"The words 'find that bitch and feed her her La Perlas in reverse' might have been bandied around," said Nathan, keeping pace with the roadie admirably, "And Cecil is having a moment."
"Of course, Cecil's having a moment. Draped in a leopard print robe and walking weeping away from the mike, I'm sure." Raj shucked his button-down off and tossed it to a passing sound tech.
"Hey, man, we all do our DAMNDEST to keep this shit from happening," Nathan snapped. On a TV as they passed, a TRL VJ was interviewing the band, suddenly passing over to Johnny, a skinny, wild-eyed elf of a lad, in a very old-fashioned, almost steampunk suit and hair that needed a cutting. He looked like Oliver goddamn Twist, the lost Beatle in the Doctor's clothes. He spoke in a soft voice, blushing and smiling sheepishly at the camera as he discussed his love of Freddy Mercury and Chopin, and the fact that his ideal girl was gentle, but spontaneous. "A Manic Pixie Dream Girl," he said, "But, low key. And someone who likes to eat. I'd go crazy if she didn't like to eat."
"Johnny?" Raj tapped on the trailer door. "Jacky-boy, I got you the good stuff! I'll make you God's Blessings!"
There was no answer. Raj shrugged.
"Maybe he hung himself."
"Don't even joke like that, man!" Nathan burst in.
John Brown lay on his back on the couch, staring at the ceiling. His glasses were off and placed neatly on the vanity table, beside the eyeliner pencil and the brush. The mousy young man barely moved, save for a soft, calm blinking of the eyes.
"Heeeeeeey, Johnny, my man," said Raj, "Want a stiff one?"
Johnny shook his head. "Underpants," he whispered.
"Yeah, John," said Nathan, "Girls do that. Usually at Marcus or Cecil or--!"
"Not girls underpants," said John, firmly.
"What?"
"Not girls underpants. I don't care what people think, I know girls don't wear bloomers anymore, thank you ever so much, Deona, but these were not the underpants of a female. They were jockeys."
John pointed accusingly at the rag of cotton jersey on the vanity. Yep. They were jockeys all right.
"Well, some girls do that, you know!" said Raj, gently trying to broaden the sheltered little puppy's horizons, "I remember this one chick in--!"
"MEN'S UNDERPANTS, RAJ! Nathan, you know me, you know I don't care, but I'm not that kind of guy, and now the press is gonna say I'm gay, AND NO GIRL WILL EVER LOOK AT ME AGAIN!" Johnny clapped a hand to his brow and flopped back onto the couch.
Nathan sighed. "Raj, I'll deal with Emoboy here. Go get the coffee going. Make his a double"
Fandom: Kingdom RPG (Genderswap Bandom AU)
Rating: PG
Synopsis: The quietest member of Love Assault has a run-in with his deepest fear
-----------
"Oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit," Raj muttered, ripping the cork from the homemade Irish Creme as he power-walked, "How's Marcus taking it?"
"The words 'find that bitch and feed her her La Perlas in reverse' might have been bandied around," said Nathan, keeping pace with the roadie admirably, "And Cecil is having a moment."
"Of course, Cecil's having a moment. Draped in a leopard print robe and walking weeping away from the mike, I'm sure." Raj shucked his button-down off and tossed it to a passing sound tech.
"Hey, man, we all do our DAMNDEST to keep this shit from happening," Nathan snapped. On a TV as they passed, a TRL VJ was interviewing the band, suddenly passing over to Johnny, a skinny, wild-eyed elf of a lad, in a very old-fashioned, almost steampunk suit and hair that needed a cutting. He looked like Oliver goddamn Twist, the lost Beatle in the Doctor's clothes. He spoke in a soft voice, blushing and smiling sheepishly at the camera as he discussed his love of Freddy Mercury and Chopin, and the fact that his ideal girl was gentle, but spontaneous. "A Manic Pixie Dream Girl," he said, "But, low key. And someone who likes to eat. I'd go crazy if she didn't like to eat."
"Johnny?" Raj tapped on the trailer door. "Jacky-boy, I got you the good stuff! I'll make you God's Blessings!"
There was no answer. Raj shrugged.
"Maybe he hung himself."
"Don't even joke like that, man!" Nathan burst in.
John Brown lay on his back on the couch, staring at the ceiling. His glasses were off and placed neatly on the vanity table, beside the eyeliner pencil and the brush. The mousy young man barely moved, save for a soft, calm blinking of the eyes.
"Heeeeeeey, Johnny, my man," said Raj, "Want a stiff one?"
Johnny shook his head. "Underpants," he whispered.
"Yeah, John," said Nathan, "Girls do that. Usually at Marcus or Cecil or--!"
"Not girls underpants," said John, firmly.
"What?"
"Not girls underpants. I don't care what people think, I know girls don't wear bloomers anymore, thank you ever so much, Deona, but these were not the underpants of a female. They were jockeys."
John pointed accusingly at the rag of cotton jersey on the vanity. Yep. They were jockeys all right.
"Well, some girls do that, you know!" said Raj, gently trying to broaden the sheltered little puppy's horizons, "I remember this one chick in--!"
"MEN'S UNDERPANTS, RAJ! Nathan, you know me, you know I don't care, but I'm not that kind of guy, and now the press is gonna say I'm gay, AND NO GIRL WILL EVER LOOK AT ME AGAIN!" Johnny clapped a hand to his brow and flopped back onto the couch.
Nathan sighed. "Raj, I'll deal with Emoboy here. Go get the coffee going. Make his a double"
no subject
on 2010-09-03 02:55 am (UTC)In other words, I <3 you.
no subject
on 2010-09-03 06:04 am (UTC)If Deona is bribed the right way she can be persuaded to throw a thong at John in the next show <3
(Also I love Raj)
no subject
on 2010-09-03 06:45 am (UTC)no subject
on 2010-09-03 06:50 am (UTC)no subject
on 2010-09-03 06:54 am (UTC)no subject
on 2010-09-03 06:22 pm (UTC)