Howling mad now, BRB
Sep. 11th, 2010 03:59 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
twistdfateangel So, Chris and I have been talking. In order to get away with Project Reveille getting off the ground, we need approval from some people. We have a chance at that approval, but there's always the chance that we'll be turned down. Chris will continue to try, but he offered me up an alternative. We take Project Reveille and make Project Lunacy out of it.
For some strange reason, no matter how reasonably he presents it, I'm instinctively balking at the idea. I have to wonder if JD has been told and what he thinks of it. I want to like it, I want to try, I want to make it work. Except that I don't. I'm fighting it. The very idea of taking four years worth of work and chopping out what feel like huge sections (that Chris swears aren't that big) to make it fit another world makes my skin crawl. I cried when we talked about it and it seems stupid, but it hurt to think that all my work trying to find ways to explain such a deep and detail-rich world without treating my viewers like idiots or falling into tired old exposition styles was going to be wasted because none of the same history or mythos would apply (I'm sorry, dude, I love you, but you can't tell me that the Ur-Mage Society in "Reveille" is the same as in "Lunacy" or even that there was one).
It's so fucking childish of me, I know. I'm being stupid about it. But, personal pride has made me hardheaded and, right now, I can't bear to look at my notes for anything dealing with the project. Probably just as well. It seems I've lost some important notes.
Why can't I just be a damn grownup about this?
For some strange reason, no matter how reasonably he presents it, I'm instinctively balking at the idea. I have to wonder if JD has been told and what he thinks of it. I want to like it, I want to try, I want to make it work. Except that I don't. I'm fighting it. The very idea of taking four years worth of work and chopping out what feel like huge sections (that Chris swears aren't that big) to make it fit another world makes my skin crawl. I cried when we talked about it and it seems stupid, but it hurt to think that all my work trying to find ways to explain such a deep and detail-rich world without treating my viewers like idiots or falling into tired old exposition styles was going to be wasted because none of the same history or mythos would apply (I'm sorry, dude, I love you, but you can't tell me that the Ur-Mage Society in "Reveille" is the same as in "Lunacy" or even that there was one).
It's so fucking childish of me, I know. I'm being stupid about it. But, personal pride has made me hardheaded and, right now, I can't bear to look at my notes for anything dealing with the project. Probably just as well. It seems I've lost some important notes.
Why can't I just be a damn grownup about this?
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on 2010-09-12 04:13 pm (UTC)Chris would be directing, because he's awesome at that. He wants me on the writing team and he's had me as a co-creator on this project for four years now. The whole idea started out as his and then JD and I said, "Oooh! Hey! What about this?"
We've always know it was possible the company we'd need permission from would say "hell no". We've been prepared for that. If they refuse us, no hard feelings, we all move on to other projects (for me, the novels I've been writing). But, I will admit, we're all hopelessly attached to the project and the characters and the stories.
That conversation actually happened on the 10th. After 48 hours, I think I'm more okay with it. I've done a little research into Source Material 2: Electric Boogaloo, who's writer we know and has given us his blessing. It CAN work without as much reworking, but I'm now mostly just annoyed, because he WOULD pick an RPG I don't know well, apart from alpha testing edition two and it WOULD be something that requires that much work (a season and a half, roughly, that needs to be tweaked). So, yeah, I'm annoyed, but not I'm not flipping anymore.
And there's a chance it won't happen. There's a chance I won't have to change a thing. But, I wanted to be emotionally and mentally ready for the possibility when Chris told me. Maybe one of these days, I'll be able to put up snippets of script. Because, truly, I think it's the best damn writing I've ever done.
I'm sticking with Chris because he knows me. He knows how to get me to work my best (by challenging my pride enough to make me do it and kick ass at it). He knows what goes on in my head (lengthy talks with the characters, punctuated by threats and pleas). He knows what I do best (funny, light things gradually spiralling into gloomy Goth-Punk drama). And he knows I will FIGHT to get what I want. He gave me an ultimatum.
"One of three characters will have to snuff it for the purposes of plot by x point. Pick one."
After a lot of thought, I came to him and said, "I can't. Two will be mothering a baby together and two of that triad are siblings and rely heavily on each other for balance. Either YOU pick or give me something to work with."
We have a rule. We can bring dead characters back, but only once in a particular way. Chris was willing to break that for the sake of the dynamic I explained to him.
Thank you for your words. I think I'll make him read that comment the next time he tries to tell me "but, you can change it!" and I say "IT DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY". It took a lot of soul searching for me to decide that I could do this and a lot of talking to other people involved in the project, who know the source material well and could explain how the story could be altered with very little effort.
TL;DR- Thank you! I wasn't as childish as I thought, but I was being a little hasty. I'm better now and I have a better outlook on things (also, rum).